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West Coast Busters Inc. |
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Your first, your last, your ONLY line of defense ...against the scum of the ethereal plane. |
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Thanks to the reinstatement of GBI, now you can protect your loved ones, your property, and your financial well-being* from the previously unavoidable disaster. Here are just some of the many, affordable** solutions for protecting yourself and others. * ...we’ll take that, thanks. ** Win the lottery and anything is affordable |
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When the government shut us down it was only a matter of time before the spirit world struck back with a vengeance. Since those days the world has been plagued by disturbances of a lethal nature unlike anything we first experienced when we first went into business.
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But when the concept of modern Ghostbusting came about, all this changed. For once mankind was able to protect itself against the spectral threat. ( ...and everything was going fine until dickless over there shut down the grid. ) |
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Puzzle cubes whose owners disappear... |
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These are just SOME of the many modern ghostly horrors left to humanity when you outlaw your friendly, neighborhood Ghostbusters! YOU ARE ALL IN GREAT DANGER!! WRITE YOUR CONGRESSMAN TODAY!!! AAAGGGHHH!!! WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!! |
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Through this all, where are those same regulatory agencies that shut us down so many years ago?
Where’s the big authority who knows what’s best for the public, eh?
We’re sure they’ve got their hands full protecting the environment from things like waste, and setting the example for us all to follow. |
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** “Pottery night” can be more fun when a dead spouse swings by to help. |
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* You’re welcome |
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Prices start at: $7,650.00 |
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Some entities can’t be trapped. Some are more like gentle hands that influence catastrophic accidents to happen, some are gods, some are dictators bent on using mystical religious artifacts to rule the world and yet others still are just 200 feet of angry marshmallow. We’ve always got a winning plan for these events.* Remember, we’re “Paranormal Investigators” and open to all forms of paranormal catastrophe, not just ghosts. Call today for a quote. Thermal mug with your first call and free balloons for the kids!! * Dr. Stantz usually just yells “GET HER!” |
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Paranormal Elimination |
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Some psychics are real; some are professional con artists. Some “haunted houses” are real; others, just elaborate hoaxes. We run into all kinds in this line of work; some legit and some fake. So how does the average Joe tell one from the other? Simple. Hire the professionals. We’ll tell you if your property is actually haunted or if it’s just one of those “Scooby Doo” things where some nut dresses up as a phony monster just to scare people off. ...then we’ll toast his ass anyways. |
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Myth Busting & Debunking |
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Prices start at: $43,000.00 |
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We never thought it would happen but we’ve expanded our operations to the undead as well as the dead. Recent rises in zombie ( yeah, we said the “Z” word... ) infestations over the past decade has called for extreme measures. Originally the proton pack wasn’t meant for damaging soft tissue, it was only for magnetically retaining the negatively charged ectons that comprise a ghost. |
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Zombie Cleansing |
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Prices start at: $8,200.00 |
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You love your home and so do they. Too bad they gotta go, eh? When they push you around, WE PUSH BACK. Voices in the house, faces in the mirror, that alternate dimension inside the TV, someone in the shower with you, that creepy kid by the elevator, and don’t even get us started about the elevator being filled with blood!!! Where do ghosts even GET that much blood?!?! That stuff never comes out of the carpet! I mean, WHO is gonna clean THAT up?! Not us! |
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Manifestation Eviction |
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Prices start at: $11,675.00 |
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WE NOW HAVE OUR OWN PRIEST!!! After all the calls we’ve received about exorcising demons we have finally heard you! We are ready to respond with our own priest on retainer. If Father Guido Sarducci can get that demon outta your kid, then we can put it in a trap! It’s a beneficial partnership that we’ve been looking forward to for years, and for such a reasonable fee!!! ( Note: Priest will require complete silence, a carton of smokes and access to your well-stocked liquor cabinet. ) |
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Exorcism |
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Recent studies of zombie incidents have shown the #1 cause of death was “running out of ammo.” Our proton packs have a half-life of 500 years. What “ammo”?! We can keep this up all night, folks. We’d have the Nemesis for breakfast. |
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Prices start at: $1,100.00 |
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Prices start at: $750.00 |
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Job #1 is always to know what you’re up against. It’s not all about running in, kicking down the door and spraying a proton stream across the living room*. Today’s professional paranormal eliminator checks into precisely what’s happening and why to assure you have the most correct solution implemented. The WCB team will conduct a sweep of your area with our exclusive detection gear for a small fee. This is an essential first step for any of our services to begin, though once the problem is identified some may elect not to continue our services.** For those who wish to continue, this fee will be deducted from the final bill.
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Investigation |
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Prices start at: $4,000.00 |
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Still our most popular service. We kick in the door, fry everything in sight, and leave charred holes in the wall. There’s yelling and screaming, ceiling fixtures fall down, tables are destroyed and somewhere along the line, maybe we get a ghost into trap. Who knows? Life is crazy and unpredictable, isn’t it folks? Here’s our bill. We take all major credit cards. |
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Spectral Purge and Containment |
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Services |